16.1 On friendships
孔子曰、益者三友、損者三友、友直、友諒、友多聞、益矣、友 便辟、友善柔、友便佞、損矣。
Confucius said, ‘There are three friendships which are advantageous, and three which are injurious. Friendship with the upright; friendship with the sincere; and friendship with the man of much observation:– these are advantageous. Friendship with the man of specious airs; friendship with the insinuatingly soft; and friendship with the glib-tongued:– these are injurious.’
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We as human share the world, create the world, and influence each other moment by moment. Friends are those we choose to hang out with regularly in our lives, and therefore exert great influence to ourselves besides our family and work associates. There is a Chinese saying “近朱者赤，近墨者黑 – One takes on the attributes of one’s associates.” How to choose friends that will influence us positively? Confucius recommends friends that are upright (with principles), honest, and knowledgeable, and avoid friends that are not upright (no principles), flattering, and rhetoric.
When one is not up right and lives one life with no principle, one is vulnerable to temptation and fall; when one is immersed in flattery, one’s self image is inflated and is departed from reality; when one is rhetoric it can easily be used to cover up lies which leads to confusion.
Make friends that will move your lives positively. Just like how we choose and learn from teachers and teachings that will uplift our lives.
16.1 益者三友、損者三友
孔子曰、益者三友、損者三友、友直、友諒、友多聞、益矣、友 便辟、友善柔、友便佞、損矣。
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作为人，我们每刻都在相互影响之下共享，和创造世界。朋友，是我们家庭和工作伙伴之外，生活中定期会来往的人。俗话有云，“近朱者赤，近墨者黑“。朋友对我们的生活，有着巨大的影响。如何能选择一些能正面影响我们的朋友？孔子的建议是，选择那些正直，诚信，和知识渊博的朋友，和避免那些不正直（没有原则），阿谀奉承，和花言巧语的人。
当人生活没有原则，受到引诱时便容易下沉;当人沉醉于阿谀奉承，便会自我澎涨和脱离现实;当人习惯花言巧语，便会用它来掩盖谎言和导致混乱。
广交正面的朋友，会正面提升你的生命。正如正面的老师和教诲，会提升我们的生活一样。
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