Confucius Analects – seek to understand – 孔子论语 – 不患人之不己知、患不知人也。

1.7 Seek to understand others

子曰、不患人之不己知、患不知人也。

The Master said, ‘I will not be afflicted at men’s not knowing me; I will be afflicted that I do not know men.’

-> With our diverse backgrounds and goals, we act, think, and behave differently.  It is normal that we don’t understand others very well.  Therefore, do not grieve on other’s not understanding us, instead, seeks to understand ourselves and others.

4.3 Expect from oneself, not from others (status, being known)

子曰、不患無位、患所以立、不患莫己知、求為可知也。

The Master said, ‘A man should say, I am not concerned that I have no place, I am concerned how I may fit myself for one. I am not concerned that I am not known, I seek to be worthy to be known.’

-> Instead of blaming others and the society for not giving a position to you, take responsibility and seek to fit in to the existing world.  Do not grieve on not being know by many, instead seek to be a worthy person to be known.

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Discussion:

Are you well understood by others?  Do you seek to be understood?  With his life-long experience in human relationship and dynamics, Confucius shared that it is a luxury to be understood, do not expect it.  Instead, work hard to understand others, and to be a worthy person to be understood.   Instead of expecting something from the external (other’s understanding), which is beyond our control; work on our internal (understand others), which is achievable.

1.7 了解他人

子曰、不患人之不己知、患不知人也。

-> 不同的背景和目标，让我们的做法，思想，和行为都非常不同。如果其他人没有很好的了解自己，是很正常的。不要因为其他人不了解我们而感到悲伤，我们可以努力的去了解自己和他人。

4.3 成为一个值得被认识的人

子曰、不患無位、患所以立、不患莫己知、求為可知也。

-> 不要责备他人和社会不给你一个位置，而要勇于承担责任，并寻求以适应现有的世界。不要忧愁别人不知道你，寻求成为一个值得被认识的人。

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讨论：

你很好地理解别人吗？你寻求被人理解吗？孔子以他丰富的人生经验，以及他对人与人之间关系的了解，总结出被人了解是难得的，不要指望它。相反，我们可以努力的去了解他人，并将自己提升为一个有价值的人。我们无法控制外部的其他人，但是，我们可以实现内部的自我提升，自我了解，和了解他人。